Interview

Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!

Phoebe: Hey Chandler, why so fancy?

Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. It’s kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and I’d be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.

Phoebe: Wait, I think I know someone who does that.

Chandler: Me! I do that. So… Seriously, do I look okay? I’m little nervous.

Rachel: Oh yeah! You really—You look great.

Phoebe: Yeah, just don’t get your hopes up.

Chandler: Why not?

Phoebe: Well, the interview…

Chandler: What about it?

Phoebe: Y’know! You don’t make a very good first impression.

Chandler: (shocked) What?!

Phoebe: Oh you don’t know.

Chandler: Are you serious?!

Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!

Chandler: What is it that I do?

Phoebe: Well it’s just like you’re trying too hard. Always making jokes, y’know, you just—You come off a little needy.

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Chandler: I can’t even believe this! I really come off that badly?

Phoebe: Oh! It’s okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.

Chandler: Oh good. Good, because I’m sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.

Phoebe: All right, don’t freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?

Chandler: An hour.

Phoebe: I can’t help you.

Chandler: Phoebe!

Phoebe: All right, all right, we’ll just do our best. Okay? So let’s say I’m the interviewer and I’m meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, I’m uh, Regina Philange."

Chandler: Chandler Bing.

Phoebe: Bing, what an unusual name.

Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) I’ll let myself out.

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Chandler: …I think you’ll find if I come to work here, I don’t micro-manage. I don’t shy away from delegating.

Phoebe: Um-hmm, that’s good to know. But let’s stop focusing on what you don’t do, and start focusing on what you do do.

Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do…is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.

Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.

Chandler: Hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Phoebe: You gotta go!

Chandler: Oh! (Stands up.)

Phoebe: Okay, don’t worry. You’re ready.

Chandler: Really?

Phoebe: Absolutely! Just fight all your natural instincts and you’ll be great.

Chandler: Okay.