100
The century post.
It was supposed to be all happy and celebratory and self congratulatory. But how i feel right now has just reiterated the fact that not everything works out the way you want it to.
Life has taken a turn. I have a job now, but all things are different from what I wanted them to be.
I live in a new city and I cant even count the number of ways this city has turned out to be different from what I expected.
The house I live in is black if what I asked for was white. I don't even want to start about the things I have had to adjust myself according to.
Its not that I am complaining. Somethings have actually worked out better. Its just that there is total uncertainty. Even if you take into account all the variables and try to calculate even remotely what turn the future will take, you are just bound to guess wrongly the right amount of chemical X. Some people call it 'luck', but i don't think I really want to use the word. Using bad-luck will be a bad omen but luck is a little too optimistic for me. So chemical X it is, The secret ingredient that may fuck your life or make you the king of some fancy oil-rich country.
Uncertainty was the topic my room mate wanted me to write about and I had said no to him straight away and I had started with a different thing in my mind. But now I can see the effect of chemical X.
There is one more thing i will like to say in this post. Many people think they know all about it. But guys, you don't even know half of the shit. But let me drop you a hint. Almost all of it is bad and almost all of it is totally opposite to what you think it is. You are not even close. Also, it is not what I wanted/expected but is totally what I expected/wanted but I am/am not happy with it. So please relax. There are things going on, which you will never understand and lets let it stay at that.
Things may end, they may start
only few things make your world fall apart
if you have them they don't really act
but from far away they must react
Things may end, they may not really start
nonetheless your world still falls apart
to look for them is to face their wrath
and to kill one self in the aftermath
things may end, they may really... really end
your world falls apart but you still defend
a stupid conviction of something that is true
but a surer conviction that the thing is you
I will ramble on a little more, coz well... its 100 today.
I believe that poetry is like the most ancient type of cryptography. What has been said might not make any sense to you but maybe it is intended for someone else, who the poet thinks will surely understand. But the only mistake the poet might be committing is over-estimating the deciphering ability of the intended party. I mean if Bob is not sure that Alice will understand his message, there is hardly any reason why he should take the pains for writing an unbreakable code. But poets are usually sentimental crazy cryptographers who feel that their Alices are the smartest dames around. Sometimes they even do it for preserving the science or art but that is not the case we are talking about, so leave that. Also I could never understand the difference between science and art. I was also not good at either. So the reader may take his own pick and excuse me for this slight digression.
I am facing a related problem these days. I think my message has been understood but the results have been rather unexpected and unfavorable. I should add that I was not expecting much. This might be the doing of chemical X which in my case hasn't done any good so far. However I still am not sure about the deciphering ability of my Alice. I also don't know which is a more serious problem, dumb Alice or the chemical affected Alice. Or could it be the case that I have a dumb Alice with blood group X+. Some problems just drive me crazy.
One day, the phoenix may really die
one day, the heavens may just conspire
take shape from nothing, he cant
ashes aren't left behind every fire
oh worldly wise, oh cautious one
keep them safe, keep them wrapped
the thread rolls that you throw away, coz
the knot wont hold the threads once snapped
hey there alice.
