bahut ho gaya... something i should have said a lot earlier

~<0>~

I have always believed that one should stick to his/her decision. It maybe good or it maybe bad, but if you keep wavering from your decisions your life cant move in a fixed direction. Agreed mistakes have to be corrected. A bad decision if identified should be reverted but it should not then be reverted back. Staying true to the choices you make clears a lot of mental mess and helps you to not get confused.

I have decided to move on. Move on from the stalemate that life has been for nearly two years. Move on from the mistakes that I have already apologized for. I have decided to not take any more shit for them.
I have decide to move on to tomorrow and not feel stupid for not doing it sooner.

I have decide to totally rock this decision.

~<0>~

What is the biggest mistake a story writer can do? Its not the punctuation and its not the grammar. Word processors take care of stuff like that. Its not the cowardliness and the lack of imagination shown by being inspired from his own life. It is creating a character so convincing that he starts believing that the character is real. Making a real person out of pen and paper; sketching a life out of smoke rings and whiskey. Believing in what is not and all the while neglecting and denying what the reality is. The biggest mistake a writer can do is fall in love with the person who does not even exist in the same universe as he.

But how can he stop himself? The resistance is futile. Whole of his day is spent in dreaming about her. In picturing her roam around her house. Taking care of the smallest of things. He sees her going to her job and trying to do her best in something she does not relate to. He imagines her preparing her dinner and smokes with her when she lights her cigarette before going to bed. The temptation to kiss her when she lies down on the couch is irresistible. When she finally retires for the day he looks at her peaceful face and smiles. She is beautiful and he pines for her touch. He can not kiss her, he can not make love to her and he can not say it to her that he loves her. He knows that it wont matter. He knows her destiny is being charted on the next page. He knows that she can not stay with him and he can not stay with her. The story has to end. Happily for her but always and always sadly for him.

A barrier must be maintained. Dreams should not be mingled with reality and reality should be kept as far away as possible from the unreal.