A day in life of a samosa lover

SL goes for a job interview.

Interviewer :- Hello Mr SL. How are you feeling today?

Samosa Lover :- Good Morning sir. I am fine sir. Thank You.

<right then Office Boy enters>

OB – Sir?

I – OB get me a cup of tea. <to SL> Will you have anything SL?

SL – I will have a samosa sir.

I – What?

SL – Samosa sir. The best ever Indian Snack.

I – <To OB>. OB please get him a Samosa. <Thinks a little> Ok… I will have one too. Also get the green chutney. <to SL> So Mr SL tell me about yourself?

<OB walks out>

SL – Sir my name is SL. I live in Samose Wali Gali area of this city. I like Samosas very much.

I – What? Be serious SL this is a job interview.

SL – But Sir I AM serious. I love Samosa. I think everyone should have Samosas regularly.

I – Whatever. Tell me why should we select you? What is so different in you from others?

SL – Sir I think, I am full of conviction and give my fullest to whatever I am doing?

I – Good. That's a good answer SL. Give me an example from your past.

SL – Sir like I said I love samosas very much. Once I decided to have samosas from all shops of our city. It took my one year to do this sir, But I am confident that I have covered 99 pc of the Samosa Walas. Infact I can tell from which shop a samosa has been bought by tasting it.

I – Impossible. I don't believe you.

SL – No sir it is very much possible. You get unique combinations of samosa and the chutney. With practice you can master it.

I – Nonsense. Nonsense I say. Have you done anything else other than eating samosas in your life. Tell me what are your long term and short term plans?

SL – Sir short term plans are to get a good job so that I can fulfill my long term plans which are to travel all over the country and try samosas from different cities.

I – SL, I have listened to your nonsense for very long time now. This is your last chance. Answer this question seriously. What are your views about westernization of our culture?

SL – Sir, I think the westernization is very bad sir. People are doing unimaginable things. Our whole country looks like a strange place to me. Earlier everywhere you went, you could see samosa walas selling samosas of different kinds. Paneer samosa, matar samosa, aaloo samosa.. but now sir it saddens me to see that you cant find a single samosa wala in so many parts of the city. You will find people it pizzas and pastas and sandwich and what not. Burgers are the worst of it sir. I hate this westernization.

I – enough is enough. <trying to maintain his composure> SL, I think I don't have anything more to ask. We will let you know about the result if you are selected. Is there anything you want to ask?

SL – Yes sir, where do you get the samosas in your canteen sir. I had one while waiting for my turn. Very nice and even though I am an expert I could not recognize the taste. Very good samosa sir, very good.

I - <Goes crazy completely> GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT. DON'T EVER SHOW YOUR SAMOSA… I MEAN FACE TO ME AGAIN. GET OUT.

SL - <rushes out of the room>

< I rings the bell to call the office boy. OB enters the room looking shocked and out of breath>

I – What happened to you. Why do you look so shaken.

OB – Sir that boy sir… he took the samosas.. forcibly sir. I gave him his samosa… but he took yours from the plate sir. I chased him sir but he ran like he had stolen the Kohinoor.

<I faints on hearing the word samosa. Outside SL is delving in the most wondrous samosas ever and thinking about a day well spent>

The End

Here's a joke

~<0>~

Girl : I hate you. Get lost. I dont wanna talk to you. This relationship is over.
Boy : What happened. I love you. I havent cheated on you. Been totally faithful.
Girl : Shut up. I cant be with you... YOU DID NOT LIKE MY STATUS ON FACEBOOK.

~<0>~

Something very similar happened to me. Not the exact same thing but very very similar.

~<0>~

Jokes happen to you sometime. You cant always laugh at them. Sometimes life teaches you lessons the funny way. I learned mine.

~<0>~

Heart or the Mind

~<0>~

Last 3 days went by like a storm. Busy Busy and Busy.

But this has sown some very important questions in my mind. In fact Mind or Heart is the big question here. Also your past mistakes come and bite you always and now they bit me on my ass. I feel stupid stupid stupid and this is all because of the bloody heart. Problem is that I am not sure whether following my mind will lead me to my aim this time.

There are some other questions but they might get answered if I am able to solve the above problem correctly.

I hate important questions. I hate the important questions, the answers to which you can only know after 2 years and your opinion of their importance may change with the benefit of hindsight.

~<0>~

I love the phrase 'benefit of hindsight'. It is one of those phrases which I feel are like so... apt. You see you can only have benefit of hindsight. You can never not-learn from a past experience, except if you are too stupid.

But stupidity is not really in ones hands. It is either in your Heart or your Mind.

~<0>~

The age of secrets has come big time. A friend of mine told me something very important few days after the thing happened. Few years ago this was out of question.

I understand his reasons of not telling very well and also identify with them at a level. Just that it has now set an example. Ab se koi kisi ko kuch nahi batayega.

Also I was not telling people stuff badi pahle se, so I am ok with the age of secrets.

~<0>~

I am playing a game with some people :P I may lose and it will feel bad like crazy but for now its game on guys. There are lot of factors but only two outcomes.

~<0>~

I hate people. Still.

~<0>~

I almost wrote a poem yesterday. I was called for a meeting.

~<0>~

Some last minute time wastage

I was planning a very senti/serious/sappy mail for saying goodbye to Noida. However I feel that I cant get senti over anything now and this is all Noida's doing. This city in spite of all its shortcomings(i do not want to start naming them) taught me how to be happy (or not sad). I do not get affected by most of things (people) which would kill me crazy few years back. Though I sometimes feel I have turned into a stone but (again) it doesn't bother me much.

I d though like to thank few people(not in any order) who were always with me through thick and thin in Noida,
Swati, Saurabh, Nik and I were the Chandaal Chaukdi at CSC. If not for them I d have certainly certainly gone mad. Lunch time was the best time at office and when even one of us was missing, due to some meeting or date or any other reason, lunch would lose its mazaa. I am thankful to them for tolerating my mood swings and mean sarcastic comments which they had to listen everyday. Noida would not have been same if you guys weren't there. I owe my sanity to you guys.
Pal and Moni.. two people I have great respect for. Have learnt a lot from them. Can never forget all night discussions with Pal( in both good and bad way). Lansdowne trip will always be a special memory. The night outs where we would just eat and eat and eat and laugh and laugh and laugh were high points in the otherwise dull life. I thank them for great times spent together and for being there when I desperately wanted to talk to someone in Punjabi. I thank them for teaching me how to keep smiling always. Its important.
Pranav Kumar Kedia. He is one genius of a person and I love him. My other roomie at 616, we used to have some crazy ass discussions all night long. Will never forget his contribution of Uchhalo , Fodo and Machao words in my vocab. The 2-3 times we got sloshed at home were one of the most entertaining times I had.
Puneet and Raman though entered the noida scene quite late but it d be unfair and stupid to leave them out(also they might kill me otherwise). With them it is a crime to get tired and being ready for some random trip to anywhere is of utmost necessity. One crazy couple they are.. chuza and I had to be careful around them. Their fights were scary but were easy to control as only some paranthas at sukhdev or tikkas at BP market would be enough to calm these two crazy punjabis.
The Family(Bhuwan Jaggi Sam together with Swati) were my default set when I wanted to drink and saurabh was reluctant. Their home was always full of "Spirits" even though sometimes we had to fight for last drops of water. Punctuality got a new definition when something was to be planned with these guys. A merry bunch of people. There home was the venue whenever a party had to be planned.

These guys should in no way think that they have got rid of me. This post was just for remembering the good times in Noida and because I cant sleep after a rather strong late night coffee at Barista 35.

--B

.: Dreams :.

~<0>~

Its not often that you have a very nice dream and also remember it in so much detail.

Last to last night I had a very very happy dream. I had just joined some college abroad and was super happy about the new place and meeting new people(almost). The college campus was very amazing built in Victorian style though some parts resembled Thapar too much. There were some very interesting characters in it. There were two sardarjis who never answered your questions properly. When I asked them from where they were, they replied from the moon and when I asked if the knew where the classrooms were they said they were near the moon. But they were well meaning persons. Jolly good fellows I say. Everyone including me had iPhones and some of my new classmates guided me about using some features. Everyone was extra nice, especially the teachers. My maths teacher called everyone in the grounds for his first lecture and showed us how different paper planes fly differently and why. This is something Sid used to do in my real college in free lectures. So I was not feeling like a complete newbie... I guess I liked maths teacher only coz in the first class there was no maths :) I had also enrolled for a subject named AMATUS, pata nahi kya tha but it was taught by a firang lady teacher who was very beautiful.. hehe. The first day was so entirely wonderful and I had lunch with Suchu and sham ko met Sid and told him about the planes.

Well ofcourse there was a girl I started liking(yeah, first day). She was my neighbor in hostel. She was so amazingly awesome that its hard to explain. You know those girls who always have pink cheeks and slightly curly hair. We hit it off from the word go and it was so amazing that I have a smile on my face even now while writing about her. However, she had some assistantship with some prof and the hostel people thought that she should be shifted to some "better" floor, so off she went to some other floor and I heard someone saying,"Bhupi its 9 in the morn, office ni jana kya"? :| How cruel I tell you and how me to not get the girl in even my own dream?

Well thats it but I had a very good time and I guess that is what is important.
~<0>~

A friend of mine is applying to phoren univs and we discuss a lot about it everyday so that could be the reason why I had this dream.

I wonder what AMATUS could be? Wiki says its this but I am sure this is not what was taught in the class.

~<0>~

Maybe its just my folly
but I do wonder why
some people wish to pull off evil deeds
and I wish to dream

(maybe to be completed)

~<0>~

She leaves her signs everywhere
signs which she knows I can see

I know the smile that flowers smile
after she passes by
I can catch the words she said to no one
In the cold desert wind I can hear her sigh
Little giggles that trees cant hide from me
and the tear drop that fell, I wonder why

Oh and the promise of love that she made
Oh its nothing but a lie, I know
But it made someone smile one last night
before the poor soul was destined to die
I dream of her in that little black dress
I dream of her every night

Its just something she has to do, she says
oh but there's evil in her eye
who lives who dies, its a game as I see
but she wins every time
those who she leaves, kill themselves
those who she kills, well... they just die

the nights over and my dream is about to end
to her own world she is about to fly
When do we meet in real I ask, and she says
Only when your time comes by
she kisses me and I open my eyes
but to her own world she is about to fly

~<0>~

Sajan Ji

kuch teri masrufiyat
kuch mera ghumaan
mainu roz ik doraahe te lae aunda hai
ate main roz ik galat rasta fad laenda haan

meri zindagi teri zindagi ton
kuch duur aa chukki hai
kisi jhoothi jitt di aas wich
main roz ik ladayi lad laenda haan, khud naal

tere nainaa.n de nashe wich choor, hale vi
mere din hauli hauli hi katde ne
andro andri dil di agg vich
main roz hauli hauli sad laenda haan

taitho dur jeena aukha hi lagda hai
ik an-suljhe sawaal waang
din hanju te raatan zehriliyan
har.roz enha de aukhe ghutt bhar laenda haan

par, mere sajan ji,mere dil de maalik ji
meri jind nimaani nu, tere pyar da hi sahara hai
ise vishwaas di khaatir zindagi de paende te
shayad... main ik kadam roz chadh laenda haan

Highs and Lows

~<0>~

The sign above specifies that it is going to be yet another "rambling post", so you can very well not bother reading it. 

~<0>~

I cant sleep tonight. Its nothing out of the ordinary, but I will miss the very weird dreams I was having from some nights. They made good "Things to think while you brush". Last night in one of these dreams a random dude hit me with a very heavy whiskey glass. I had to get stitches. After I woke up, while brushing my teeth, I kept touching the back of my head. Just to be sure you know. 

Some dreams have this nasty habbit of seeping into the real world. Its not totally unfair as we think about real stuff in dreams. So they have some right over our reality. If you think I am just talking Non-sense, I will tell you about a dream I had once.

It was in college and I was kinda very senti types over a girl. In my dream I recieve a phone call from a very close friend who kinda knew who the girl was. I find out that this call is actually not meant for me. My friend had called the girl and was telling her that I was not the right guy for her and all this crap about me. Now due to some dream world cross connection I get the call too and am able to hear all this. As is pretty obvious I am pretty pissed of with my friend and also kinda heartbroken as the girl simply agreed to him in the end of the conversation. Now the biggest shock for me was when I was woken up by a REAL call on my REAL cell from the same friend. Imagine seeing the name of a person who has just almost spoiled your life, flashing on your cell. Boy o Boy he never would have expected so many gaaliyan from me then and only after about 5 -6 minutes of choicest of punjabi gaaliya I realised that I had a bad Dream. Poor guy still has no idea why he had to listen to me gone mad.

This is just one example you know. I can tell you many more but I wont.

~<0>~

If you are wondering why I titled this post "Highs and Lows", then I should tell you that it is because a friend and I were talking about Highs and Lows today. Its not important for you to know what all we talked about Highs and Lows. I told you only to convey that the title of this post is relevant.

~<0>~

That blog is so pathetic. Really.

Yes That One.

~<0>~

Sometimes you know someone (B) who knows someone else (A) you know. You want to know whats up with A, however A is dumb bitch and wont tell you directly. You cant ask B coz B's a motherfucker and you hardly talk. But you know that B knows something about A that you really want to know. 

I should know all about A. B should get lost.

What to do?

Sometimes you are in a Soup.

~<0>~

Score Sheet

High|Low

   0   | 1

Bad Binary Joke.

~<0>~ 

ps:- Hey Ko, will do the tag in next post.

Search is on, as usual

Some people devote years and years looking for things they really believe in. Every waking moment of theirs is spent in fighting for that something. But sometimes they get so used to this struggle and wait that they forget what they will do once, if ever, they get what they want. Their whole lives are so intervowen with their search that after their victory the drill to detatch themselves from the habbits and practices of their quest is a tougher job for them. Some who realise this, at a sub-concious level do not wish to actually win.

For example :-

1. The Naxalites :- The naxalite moment is still on in some states like orrissa and Andhra Pradesh. But it has now reduced to only few people who have no other thing to do in life. They have become dacoits and have absolutely no clue what they will do in case they are given a chance to run a government. 

2. Communist Party :- very similiarly they have no clue about their policies on issues other than preaching anti-americanism, if they actually ever win a general election. 

3. Man's best friend :- Dogs. They keep sniffing here and there for something. I am absolutely sure that even if a dog is able to find what its ancestors have been looking for, it will not believe that it has ended a search which was on since times so so long back.

and last but not the least.

4. Yours truly  :- )

Pardes

The post which was supposed to come up today will not be published because of some stupid doings on my part. Inconvenience is not regretted. The stupid doings are.

Pardes will be up someday.

Lets Sober Up

Its been a long long time. We were drunk like this for ages. The hope clouded our vision and the promises of a beautiful morning one day, had destroyed any trace of reason we could have used to save ourselves. The lemon twirls of false assurances hid the taste of the bitter liquor of what really was coming our way. Our steps got fuddled and we spoke a strange tongue. No one understood anyone. Everyone just smiled. Sang songs. Made merry.

But slowly a delirium is setting in. The psychedelic is changing into psychosis. The laughter that can be heard in the courtyard, is turning into cries of dreams being shattered against the hard walls of truth. Everyone is poking finger in their own puck and looking for that piece of luck that once was inside our guts. Too much hope, they say, fucks you up too much.

Lets wake up now, from this stupid dream to the nightmare we have created around ourselves. Coz we went to sleep when the promises were being made, coz we closed our eyes to the unfairness of the deal , we now have to save our souls from this mire of lies and deceit. Lets wake up to reality for just this once. Lets sober up to the truth.

Coffee K(l)icks...

(featuring BATMAN's and SPIDEY's Coffee)

Taking a Break

After a very long time i spent some time at home on a weekend. Watched some TV, read some stuff, ate a lot and in the evening went to market for some groceries. Usual leisure time activities. Felt good.
Life has come full circle. Lot of things which were occupying my mind, many of my worries are now over. Right now I am at a place where time looks like a giant sea... flat and seamless. Not knowing what lies beyond the horizon, which is fast approaching, i am waiting to see how future unfolds.

~~

On 29th i tried my first cigarette. It was a promise i had made to myself. So i fulfilled it. Coughed through most part of it, so probably i am not in a position to comment if it was good or bad as nothing "hit"... and i was already high. Though I kinda love the thought of smoking with a cup of cutting chai on a rainy day or maybe with some black coffee but am not sure if I will be motivated enough to do it.
The judgment on smoking and smokers :- Reserved.

~~

These days i have started feeling lonely. Its a strange and a new feeling, um giving loneliness a chance... coz people have failed.

~~

Is it OK to tell people that they have a fucked up life and are still no way near getting it back on track. Also is it OK to tell them that they are committing the same mistakes again and will end up at the same place.

Sad to sadistic

~<0>~

Its not good to have a prophetic vision if you can see people who were once close, weaning away. Slowly, Very Slowly. But you can see it on their faces. They are just waiting to snap away or are pretending to be there, coz it might look bad on em if they leave you in a lurch.
Shoo away people, don't waste my time.

Yeah, doesn't feel very good. Kills the fun of knowing that you can see future.

~<0>~

A friend invited me for a beer/whiskey/vodka thing today. I refused and tried being a good boy.
I had coffee instead. I am already regretting my decision. Its not that i don't like coffee. I love it like anything. But sitting like an Owl(3 str8 nights) doesn't feel very good. I 'd have preferred snoring like a pig today.

~<0>~

Hi

I don't love you at all. I never did. Whenever i said that, i was plain lying. It was good fun.

When i come to think of it, i did like you for a while, but that was all physical.

And yeah! the day you said that you don't love me and we should end it, i was so turned on i wanted to take you down there and then. But you started crying and spoiled the moment.

So are we cool now?

Muaah...

~<0>~

A dining table at the house of a newly wed couple's home. Dinner time. Lots of thoughts and dialogs.

HE: (Tries to hold his wife's hand. Wife takes her hand away) Hey!! why don't you let me hold your hand.
SHE:(Smiles... smirks) coz its MY hand.
HE: But we are married. I own you now. I can touch you wherever i want (smiles cunningly)
SHE: Nooooooo... you don't own me or anything, you chauvinistic pig ( Is disgusted). You are lucky to have me as your wife.
HE: (disgusted and insulted) Its because of women like you men have extra marital affairs.
SHE:( Starts laughing Crazy) If on this table anyone can have an extra marital affair, that is me. who will ever start an affair with you.
HE:(turns red with anger, says nothing)

The husband takes a fork and stabs her hand. The wife cries in unbearable pain. Husband leaves the table.

The audience applauds. Husbands and wifes go to their homes, never to fight again and live happily ever after.

--Finally i wrote a happy ending--

~<0>~